Brazil and Portugal

Posted by len on October 12th, 2007

Brazil and Portugal have an interesting relationship. You can find Brazilian music everywhere in Portugal and caipirinhas are very common as well (Brazilian rum drink like Mohitos). Even one of our few friends here is Brazilian.
But what do the two peoples think of each other?
Well, to answer that, I got my Brazilian friend to teach me two jokes. One about Brazilians and the other about Portuguese:

A Portuguese Man, a Brazilian, and Two Horses

Once upon a time a Portuguese man bought two horses and asked his friend, a Brazilian, how he could make sure to tell them apart.
The Brazilian suggested: “Why don’t you cut off an ear of one and then you’ll know.”
The Portuguese man thought the idea was genius so he did so.
But then, that night, the Brazilian secretly cut off an ear of the other horse too.
The next day the Portuguese man was stumped: “Oh no! I can’t tell them apart!”
“Why don’t you cut off the other ear?”
“Okay!” said the Portuguese man. So he cut off the other ear of one horse. But that night the Brazilian cut off the other horse’s ear as well.
The next morning the Portuguese man couldn’t tell them apart and was distraught.
“Well, why don’t you cut off one leg of each?”
“Great idea!” thought the Portuguese man. So he cut off one horse’s leg. But that night the Brazilian cut off the other horse’s leg.
The next morning the Portuguese man was, again, flumoxed: “I still can’t tell them apart!”
“Cut off another leg.” suggested the Brazilian.
And so it went for the next few days and nights until all that was left was the body and head of each horse.
The Portuguese man was defeated: “Oh no! There’s nothing left! How will I ever tell them apart now?!”
The Brazilian man responded: “Well, one is black and the other is white.”

On An Airplane

An Italian, A German, A Portuguese, and a Brazilian are on a plane together.
The plane is serving food.
The German gets a big sausage and takes a bite.
He looks disappointed and says “Hrumph! We have plenty of sausage in Germany!”
He opens a nearby hatch and, woosh!, throws the sausage out of the plane.
Next the Italian tries his food. He has a huge pizza and takes a bite.
“Hrumph! We have plenty of pizza in Italy!”
He opens the hatch and, woosh!, throws the pizza out of the plane.
Next the Brazilian takes a bite of his picanha, a prime cut of steak.
“Hrumph! We have plenty of picanha in Brazil!”
He too opens the hatch and, woosh!, throws the picanha out.
Finally, the Portuguese’s turn.
He opens the hatch and, woosh!, throws the Brazilian out of the plane.
“Hrumph! We have plenty of those in Portugal!”

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